Harry Potter-Jamaican Style-Ep.1-The Secret of the
by Madylin
Summary: What would happen if hogwarts wasn't in Britian? Move all the characters, add some new ones, to Jamaica- and lets have a HP adventure...JAMAICAN STYLE! R and R. More ch. coming!
1. Crime and Punishment

  
Potter- Jamaican Style- Episode 1- The Secret of the   
Sacred Coconut Fruit   
  
A/N: Ok this is sorta a weird story idea I came up   
with, I'm writing it during a tornado watch! HELP!   
Also, Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling, she gets   
tons of credit from me! Thanks Laurie and KT( my   
awesome editor) for the ideas and suggestions! I just   
realized how this story might offend some people so   
I'm so sorry if it does, it is not meant to at all! Also, the   
term "Voldermon" is supposed to be the Jamaican Version   
of Voldermort.   
  
  
  
Harry Potter wiped a titanic sized sweat drop off his   
forehead and pushed his dangling dreadlocks out of   
his face angrily. If it weren't for that idiot Snape,   
Harry was positive he would never be out here in the   
heat, picking one hundred mangos for Madam   
Pompfrey's sunburn ointment.   
If only Snape hadn't seen Harry place a gigantic   
potion-filled banana under Malfoy's bony rear end.   
Naturally when Malfoy sat down, he was immediately   
showered with a devious love potion that sent Malfoy   
off to kiss and try to snog the first thing he saw,   
which just happened to be Professor McGonagall!   
Chuckling, Harry recalled how even picking one   
hundred mangos was a fair exchange for seeing both the   
look on Professor McGonagall's face, and the   
embarrassed look on Malfoy's face when Snape had   
brought him round again!   
  
"Psss Harry," called Harry's best friend, Ron   
Weasly, from behind the huge mango tree.   
Tall, gawky, and pale, with short red hair that Ron   
had messily tied in a way so that four thick   
"alfalfas" stuck out off his head, Ron was not quite   
a ladies man.  
  
" Ron, my brother, did you the look on Malfoy's face"?  
  
"Er yea one of your best my mon", agreed Ron, as   
he picked up a palm leaf and began furiously fanning   
himself with it.   
" Anyway 'arry can I borrow your parrot, I need to   
send a post to Charlie?" Ron said between mouthfuls   
of sweet, dripping, mango fruit.   
  
Before Harry could answer, a sharp voice pierced the   
air, startling Ron and making Harry's dreadlocks   
stand on end.   
  
"What are you thinking Ron, your going to lose   
Gryffindor points! Gryffindor just can't afford to lose   
anymore, sneaking out here like this, it's all very selfish.   
And Harry, what was going through your mind, you two   
just haven't been representing yourself as I'm sure   
you must know how to, all Jamaicans do, but you are   
too much. I suppose you'll just have to lie low, or   
get back on that motorboat out of here," said Hermione   
with a scowl on her sun-freckled face that would   
startle even a charging bull.   
  
"Smile Hermione, Voldemon has not gotten you yet,"   
said Harry teasingly.   
  
Ron and Hermione both let out a huge sigh of awe and   
shock at hearing the evil name. Hermione's tan body   
began to shake, and her cornrow beaded hair began to   
swish dangerously, while Ron got his rare   
deer-in-the-headlights look. Harry knew those   
looks all to well, and tossing a few more mangos into   
the wire basket, suggested they all head up to   
Hagrid's bungalow for a visit before supper.   
  
A/N: Now review good kitties! Also, I definitely know   
that is such a weird story I just wrote, but there   
WILL BE A POINT AND ADVENTURE TO IT !!More chapters to   
come, with all the HP gang! Tell me any feedback you   
have pleaze! 


	2. Clues to a New Adventure

Harry Potter- Jamaican Style- The Secret of the Sacred Coconut- Chapter Two   
  
A/N: Once again thank you to KTLACY my editor, whom   
without I could not do this story 'cause some of my   
punctuation is barf-o-matic! Kudos to KT, check out   
her great story! Ok enough publicity..lets get to the   
story... formating messed!  
  
  
Hermione reached her wiry hand up to and knocked   
twice on the flap of material that served as a door to   
Hagrid's Bungalow.   
Hermione, Ron, and Harry waited. No answer came, but   
a faint rummaging and slamming door could be heard   
through the door.   
Ron, puzzled, knocked again, and this time, the door   
was opened by a fidgety Hagrid.   
Hagrid was a gigantic sized mon with a dark brown   
tan, brown eyes, a hawk's nose, and a warm smile. From   
his left ear, a earing with a detailed sunshine   
illustration glimmered in the hot Caribbean sunlight.   
  
Today, he had his hair tied back into numerous   
tiny perfect braids. At   
the bottom of every braid, were two beads, one pink,   
the other blue (even Hagrid had a feminine side).   
Strangely enough, Hagrid was not a ugly man. In fact,   
if you were into huge, tan, long haired brothers,   
Hagrid was the mon for you.   
  
" Er hurry and come in out of de heat, ye three must   
be burning alive", said Hagrid, as he nervously   
glanced around at ze school grounds, and pushed first   
Hermione, then Ron, then Harry hastily and with much   
force into his crowded bungalow. The three kiddies,   
(as all Jamaican children are called), went flying,   
well, except for Hermione, who performed a difficult   
spell to break her fall.   
  
"OW Hagrid, where's the love today?," asked Harry   
grimly, as he rubbed his shin with a inquiring yet   
teasing look on his face.   
  
"Ouch, Hagrid, what IS wrong with you"?, said Ron, as   
he lay crumpled into a very small corner of Hagrid's   
tidy kitchen.   
  
"He's probably keeping another dragon again, which you   
know Hagrid IS against ministry rules,"said Hermione   
in a joking light sing-song-voice.   
  
" Argh n-n-no I'm not, wouldn't do that again without   
permission from the h-h-higher officials," said a   
suddenly blushing and stuttering Hagrid.   
  
Just than, a loud hiss rocked the small bungalow.   
  
" Oh cut ze games already mon, we know you has   
something somewhere in here, 'zat is the same look   
you had on ya face when you were keeping that dragon,"   
said Harry in his rich, Caribbean accent, as his   
hazel green eyes darted around the small bungalow.   
  
  
  
" Lecos Revealo" shouted Hermione, pointing her wand   
around the small bungalow. Immediately, the largest   
kitchen cupboard opened, to reveal a small cage, with   
a hunched over creature in it.   
  
  
  
" Ye have caught me again, you prying vittle pieces of   
monkey dung," said Hagrid, as his eyes twinkled   
misheviously and a sly smile spread across his dark   
face.   
  
Hagrid tenderly lifted the creature from its cage   
made of palm tree branches, and lifted it up for the   
interested Ron and Harry to see, while a tentative   
Hermione began to back away. The very week before,   
Hermione had received a painful bite from a   
Black-Bellied-Horned Newt, and was not about to take   
another chance.   
The creature was a beautiful misty silver color,   
with a long bushy tail, and on the top of its head,   
small stubs of horns were beginning to grow. As Hagrid   
held it, a thin wispy gas began to trickle out of its   
hissing mouth, and float around the room.   
  
" Nistcies gas," said Hermione knowingly, who was   
begging to stroke the animal cautiously. "Meow..."   
  
" Aye your right, this here is a Nistcian. This one   
'ere is just a babe, but when she grows a wee bit   
older, that gas will have loads of power", explained   
Hagrid.   
  
" Well I think it looks like a muggle cat gone bad,   
and a very dangerous animal, almost as dangerous as a   
group of prying American tourists to the island," said   
a very grumpy Ron.   
  
" Ron, mon, you haz tied your alfalfa's too tight,"   
said Harry.   
  
" Some one needs to take a chill pill, and may I   
remind your banana mush brain that Hogwarts is   
bewitched. No muggle can see it, but of course they   
could see us if we weren't careful, and if we weren't   
so far off from mainland," said a exasperated Hermione.   
  
" Where did you find her anyway Hagrid?", asked   
Harry, who had been suspiciously quiet during most of   
the discussion.   
  
" Er, she's old Dumble's, I'm watching her for him.   
She's going to go on the quest, oh no, um   
nevermind," cried Hagrid in despair, who had begun to   
shake his monstrous head violently at himself, and   
mutter curses under his breath, which smelled heavily   
of sweet coconut rum.   
  
" Quest, he said quest, there's going to be some   
quest!" exclaimed Ron happily.   
  
" Tell us more Hagrid brother, let's talk details   
mon", said the suddenly persistent Harry.   
  
By now, Hagrid was trying to hit himself, while   
Hermione was holding on to his shaggy dreads and   
trying to restrain him with one hand while with the   
other she was clutching the frightened Nistiscin.   
Ron and Harry were attempting to get more information   
out of Hagrid, but brother Hagrid   
was too angry at himself to even utter a word.   
Just then, the supper drum began to beat, and a   
hoard of witches- and wizards-to-be could be seen   
running in tie-dyed robes towards the Great Bungalow .  
  
" Are you coming vith us mon or no?" asked Ron.   
" You go ahead brother, I'll be up soon, save me a   
hammock chair," answered Harry.   
  
" Sure, fine, I will. Bye then," cried Ron, running off   
with Hermione, and falling flat on his face after   
tripping over a coconut shell stupidly.   
  
Harry walked slowly behind the rest of the group,   
pondering this quest idea. What was this quest for,   
this mission? Was someone or something in jeopardy?   
Harry Potter would just have to find out. Whatever   
this quest was, Harry prayed to Buddha it had nothing   
to do with Voldermon.   
  
A/N : I know that last sentence sounds like something   
you would read on the back of a movie box, sorry.   
Review kiddies! Ya'll rock!   



	3. A Lunch to Remember

Delicious lunchtime smells wafted from the Great Bungalow as Harry loped in for lunch. Ron stopped shoveling his banana custard into his mouth long enough to wave Harry over. Harry pushed his way through the noisy hall, and took a seat in his usual bamboo chair, between Hermione and Ron.   
  
" Dude, you have to try some of this banana custard, straight from de mainland, mon," said Ron, who seemingly had already forgotten about the morning's adventure.  
  
" You only think of your stomach, Ron mi mon. What about zis new " quest"?  
Harry whispered, dipping his pinky into the custard, and licking it clean.   
  
Ron, who strongly felt nothing was as delicious as banana pudding, just shrugged and turned his attention to a chicken leg. Hermione looked at the bit of pudding on Ron's upper lip scornfully, sipped her cocoanut milkshake, and told Harry that they would soon find out what was going on, seeing as Professor Dumbledore was rising to make the announcements.  
Professor Albus Dumbledore, affectionately dubbed " D Mon", was a lanky mon with a thinning mop of white hair (highlighted with thick blonde sun streaks of course), a matching beard, twinkle eyes the color of the nearby sea, and dark brown skin. Today, D Mon was wearing a short-sleeved lime robe featuring a large palm tree on the front, and half-moon sunglasses. He made the native Jamaican sign for hello, then asked the buzzing students for immediate silence.  
" I hope all you homies are having a hoppy day. Just a few not so important notices, and one important one", he said, his accented voice echoing through the Bungalow.   
"First, let it be known zat ze Dark Forest of Palms iz still off limits", D Mon said, glancing towards a group of troublesome Slytherins.   
"Secondly, Mr. Filch has asked me to remind certain young wizards zat ze popular firework Exploding Mangoes have been added to da outlawed items list," he said, his eyes drifting towards the Weasley bros who were now randomly whistling.   
The twinkle in D Mon's eyes faded as he began; " Now de time has come for me to announce a serious thing, sisters and brothers. There is an item of great importance to da Ministry and da wizarding worlds that is lost. It is so powerful, but had always been used for good until recently. This item has been abducted from its hiding place, to be used for evil by Voldermon," Hearing this name, a shudder of fear raced down the backs of all but one student.  
" De problem is this item was made long ago by a youngster, and it can only be successfully destroyed by one. I have reason to believe Voldermon will soon take advantage of a mere child, and then ensnare that brother or sister into his evil plans. The quest to find this item will be dangerous and maybe even deadly, but my students are both clever and brave. These last minutes that I have told you of this, I have sent a Heart Calling spell out. If your heart knows that you were called to go on this quest, the spell vill make you realize this and give you courage to come forward."  
  
  
  
One young Gryfindor, a boy called Collin, glanced around nervously at the apprehensive faces in the Great Bungalow before raising his squeaky Cuban voice to ask,   
  
" But, D Mon, amigo, what is this dangerous item you speak off"? A rumbling of suspicion grew in the Great Bungalow, most students and some staff thought all this was a joke... but the nervous laughter and whispers were quickly quieted by D Mon's gentle but firm answer.  
  
" It iz non but da Sacred Cocoanut, whittled out of da ancient Tree of Life, burned in flame, then cooled by da magical waters of the Naya Waterfall. Once it has been renewed in the air of Mount Mithras, it's powers will make da holder invincible, that iz, if you selected seven do not follow your heart. Now, off to your lessons. Do not forget thee sun block, it iz positively scorching today."  
As students began to trickle out of the hall, Ron, suddenly looking quite flushed in his tie-dyed robe, loosened his color and said shakily,   
  
"Who does D Mon think he's kiddin', he can't be serious, what's he gonna call the seven, the Fellowship of the Coconut. Needs a tug on da beard eh Harry? Harry?"   
  
But Harry was staring straight ahead, because in his heart, he knew that he had been called. Harry Potter was going on a quest. 


	4. Hurray for the Cocoanutters!

Author Notes: Many characters in this are my own, but Harry Potter and related indicia belong to J. K Rowling, and Jamaica belongs to the Jamaicans.  
  
Harry had never before been so puzzled and bamboozled in his life. He had the chance to avoid the terror and malice of the Dark Lord, a chance to avoid certain pain. He knew that wherever Voldermon was, there was only coldness and gray. Harry also didn't want to face the reality that if he went on the quest for the Sacred Cocoanut, he may not return. Harry stayed very busy that week, taking on even more extracurriculars than his usual Banana Cabana Chorus, Gay -Straight Wizard Alliance, and Taste of Jamaica Fondue Cooking classes. But in the back of his mind, a nagging voice kept speaking to him, telling him he couldn't hide from duty. It wasn't till Saturday night, when in an act of desperation to quiet the common room, Percy had popped in the hit movie "Spider-Mon", that Harry was sure what to do. As the main character, Peter Parkmon, discovered that "with great power, comes great responsibility," Harry made up his mind to come forward. With all luck, going on the quest would stop the queer panes in his heart, excuse him from exams, and maybe even get some lovin' from a cute mama, just like Parkermon did, and oh yaw, defeat evil, of course! Sunday morning dawned clear and sweltering. Not a single cloud polluted the serene sky over the blue sea, but a strange scent of Banana Beer did waft through the air to the lawn chairs where Harry, Ron, and Hermione lay, waiting for the breakfast gong to pound. Ron was slightly miffed at Fred and George, who had " accidentally" given him a bottle of toxic lotion that made purple dots appear and bubble on his face, and Hermione and Harry were not helping his mood by covering their chuckles with loud, unrealistic sneezes. As a massive, purple boil appeared between Ron's brows, Harry couldn't help the fit of giggles that escaped his lips. At this, Ron exploded, no pun intended. " Shut up, you prick, I didn't choke miself when mi main mon 'Arry pooped out seashells afta just a tink of a sampling of Puttenberry last week," Ron said irritably. " Tsk, 'Arry, that's like, American disgusting, " Hermione said, a look between disgust and strange admiration on her brown face, as Ron and Harry chortled Mon, why de cosmos does it smell like Banana Beer out here?," said a blushing Harry, trying to switch to a more comfortable subject. " ' Prolly the sevies shore party last night, I heard they really let them fros down. Banana Beer, Fungo's Fried Fritters, even got some of them uh, marsh-e-mallows from the mainland. Craziness baby, crazy. " Ron commented. " I zink that unsupervised partying iz no reason to take of your sunblock, Ron. It iz a dangerous practice. I mean, there are thousands of drugs going around; Jimmies, Neptunes, Rextasy, and even Bob Marleys, said Hermione disapprovingly, wiping miniscule spots of her rainbow robe. The three sat in silence for a few minutes, watching the nearby island village of Hogmedi awaken and prepare for the hustle and bustle of another hot Jamaica day. As the gong sounded, Harry and Hermione dragged a reluctant Ron into the Great Bungalow. Embarrassed of his purple boils, Ron wanted to eat his morning custard outside. It turned out that Ron was very glad that he had chosen to brave the whispers and the particularly nasty sneers of Slytherins Draco Monfoy, D. Crabbe, and Soiled Goyle. When the meal was over, and the last bit of non- alcoholic mango rum drunk, D Mon rose for an announcement. His eyes, though usually twinkling like the Aurora Borealis, now looked sad and droopy. He raised his hands for silence, and was immediately obeyed. " On did beautiful island day, I carry both sad and glad tidings. Today, we vill announce the zeven who must journey long and hard to recover the Sacred Cocoanut. Now, it was not I who zelected those who must leave us, but their own hearts. The brave zeven will now be announced. All bodies in the Great Bungalow stopped moving, as D Mon began. " The first person called iz Ms. Apola Prega of de sixth year and Ravenclaw cabana." Harry joined the clapping as a smiling Apola took a mock bow, and took her place next to D Mon. This wasn't the first time Harry or any of the Gryffindor mons had noticed Apola, she was hard to miss with her shiny shoulder-length auburn hair, and uncommon purple eyes bordered by curly black lashes. " Te second person shall be Jasper Kamari originally of the Hufflepuff cabana, but now from de Slytherin cabana." A muscular boy with dark brown skin, dreads, and blue eyes sauntered over to Apola and D Mon. " I didn't know Jasper was from both? How can that mon be from two cabanas, Hairball?" " Dunno Ron, maybe he got kicked out of one," Harry replied. " Third, let us velcome Ms. Hermione Granger to this quest. Ms. Granger is of the Gryffindor cabana, and in the fifth year. Hermione rose from her chair without a backward glance at two very shocked mons, and walked briskly to the front of the Great Bungalow amid cheers from the most of the room. " Please welcome Meg Clearwater, of Ravenclaw", D Mon's voice announced, as Meg skipped up the steps to the stage in the front of the Great Bungalow. She smiled at the serious group, and waved to her older sister, Penelope, who was looking very tearful. "Demorior Prism of Slytherin vill be the fourth." A seventh-year boy rose, and walked toward the podium with his head held high. He had high cheekbones, a Roman nose, and curly brown hair that matched his cocoa skin easily.  
  
Harry was still staring at Demorior when Ron rose. Harry didn't realize what was happening until his mon was standing next to Hermione, looking very red underneath his purple spots. " I give you Ron Weasely, of Gryffindor cabana. He makes six," D Mon's voice shook Harry from his stupor, and Harry began to worry. What was he playing at? He could walk away from danger. He could escape Lord Voldermort's wrath if he didn't go on this quest. He wouldn't have to watch people close to him like Ron and Hermione feel pain and fatigue. All he had to do was say no when his name was called. " Harry Potter," D Mon's voice echoed in Harry's ears, but Harry didn't rise. He didn't want to face any more pain. He had had more than enough of his fair share. No way, Harry told himself, no way would he seek more suffering.  
  
As he looked around the Great Bungalow at all the dark faces staring at him, Harry's heart gave a little thump. So many mons and womons looked at him hopefully. They need me, Harry realized, they need me and I must do what I can, even if it means coming face to face with Voldermon. He could not disappoint his homies. Harry Potter rose from his chair, and walked to the front of the room, his hand shaking inside the pockets of his robe. " I give you Harry Potter of Gryffindor cabana," D Mon said as the Great Bungalow erupted into cheers, beaming proudly at Harry, his eyes twinkling beneath his shades. " Three cheers for da Fellowship of the Sacred Cocoanut," Fred cried. " Hurray for the Cocoanutters! Their chants were quickly picked up by all in the Great Bungalow, as the multitude of people in tie-dyed robes began to chant. "Hip Hip Boo Ya!" "Hip Hip Boo Ya!" "Hip Hip Boo Ya!" " Hurray for the Cocoanutters".  
  
A/N: Read and Review, you awesome mons and womons! Thank You! 


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